The One With the Baby on the Bus

Thursday, 2 November 1995

Joey and Chandler borrow Ross's baby son to meet women and leave him on a city bus, while Ross lands in hospital with an allergy and Phoebe loses her Central Perk slot to a paid musician.

What happens

• Ben cries every time Monica holds him and stops the moment anyone else takes him, which convinces Monica that her own future child will hate her.
• Ross discovers that Monica's pie is made with kiwi rather than key lime, his throat swells, and she makes him go to the hospital.
• Ross reluctantly leaves Ben with Joey and Chandler after Joey points to his seven sisters as proof he can handle a baby.
• Terry tells Rachel he is hiring a paid professional for Sunday afternoons and leaves it to Rachel to break the news to Phoebe.
• Rachel talks Terry into giving Phoebe an unpaid slot after Stephanie, and Phoebe refuses it and takes her guitar out to the pavement instead.
• Ross gets his injection only by gripping Monica's hand, and he squeezes hard enough to bruise the bone and cut her with her own ring.
• Joey's plan to attract women with Ben lands them two girls at a bus stop, and Joey and Chandler step off the bus without the baby.
• Health Services returns Ben, but Joey and Chandler cannot tell him from another baby and settle it with a coin toss.
• Phoebe admits that playing for money has spoiled the songs for her, and Rachel tells her the one request she got was for Smelly Cat.
• Ben stays calm in Monica's arms at last, and Ross notices a Health Services stamp on his son and goes after Joey and Chandler.