The One With the Jam

Thursday, 3 October 1996

Monica abandons her jam business and decides to have a baby using donor sperm, Phoebe dates the man who has been stalking her twin, and Chandler's sleeping trick lands Janice in a cast.

What happens

• Monica has been up since before dawn making jam, and says the business is how she plans to get past Richard.
• Phoebe confronts the man trailing her and learns he has mistaken her for Ursula, then talks him out of his shame and asks him for coffee.
• Chandler asks Ross and Rachel how to handle Janice, and Ross teaches him a move for escaping a cuddler by hugging her and rolling her back to her own side.
• Phoebe tells the others the man is called Malcom and that a restraining order kept him away from her, and she admits she likes him while insisting she only wants to cure him of Ursula.
• Monica works out that each jar would have to sell for seventeen dollars, drops the business, and announces she will have a baby alone using a sperm bank.
• Chandler attempts the roll on the sleeping Janice, gets his arm trapped, and yanks it free hard enough to fling her off the bed.
• Malcom surrenders his binoculars, night vision goggles and surveillance log to Phoebe, and the two of them kiss.
• Reading donor profiles aloud, Monica hits one that is unmistakably Joey, who admits he sold a sample after a university sex study.
• Phoebe follows Malcom into a subway station and catches him hiding from Ursula, so she ends the romance but offers to let him stalk her instead as a substitute.
• Joey paints Monica a picture of the husband and three children she might have had, which leaves her deflated about the donor plan.